Issue 1334 - Tuesday 30th March, 2021

In Today's Issue

The News

Disgraced Attorney-General Christian Porter to be hidden away in the Industry, Science & Technology ministry

Because a bunch of perverts can't keep their dick in their pants over in Canberra, we have a cabinet reshuffle that sees the former Attorney-General Christian Porter "demoted" to Minister for Industry, Science and Technology - the 5th one in 5 years and the 7th since the Coalition formed government in 2013. So many changes in such a short period of time is clearly a sign that Scott Morrison reckons things like Industry, Science and Technology are not important, making this portfolio is a great place to dump any old dud you need to hide in a closet until the next election.

Boston Dynamic's latest robot won't give you nightmares unless you're terrified of cardboard boxes

Boston Dynamics has a new robot and unlike its predecessors, isn't a mechanical dog designed to strike the fear of God into enemy combatants in the inevitable humans vs computers 100-year war. This bad boy is called Stretch and is a harmless "box-moving bot designed to meet the demands of warehouses and distribution centers" that can operate in a "warehouse, unloading trucks, de-palleting shipments, and eventually building orders". I've got no idea if Stretch is a good investment to replace your humans with, but I'm sure in a pinch this thing can have an AK-47 grafted on and utilise a rogue AI that never misses a headshot.

Xiaomi's new flagship smartphone has a honking big camera that on paper at least, should take excellent photos

Smartphone camera technology has taken another leap forward with Xiaomi's latest unit, the Mi 11 Ultra. It sports a top of the line sensor from Samsung that "is currently the largest camera sensor in any mobile phone on the market, measuring in at 1/1.12” optical format" with a native pixel size of 1.4µm, but has a "Quad-Bayer colour filter setup, able to 4:1 bin to 12.5MP pictures with effective pixel sizes of 2.8µm". The bigger the pixels, the more light the sensor can let in, which is good. Unless Xiaomi totally fuck up the image processing software side of things, the Mi 11 Ultra should be the best smartphone camera you can get.

Something I Saw On The Internet

Books I've purchased but have not read because I am a poseur


The End

📻 Ohio - Cherry Glazerr

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The Sizzle is created on Wathaurong land and acknowledges the traditional owners of country throughout Australia, recognising their continuing connection to land, water and community. I pay my respect to them and their cultures and to elders both past and present.​